Is finding “the one” a real thing? We often hear stories about couples that just knew almost immediately that they would end up with their partner. Is this feeling just overly romanticized? In reality, successful relationships take real work and probably aren’t predestined. Whether you believe in soulmates or not, there are real ways to know if you’re compatible with your partner and if the relationship will make it long-term. Here are eight signs that you’ve found your person and shouldn’t let them go.
1. You Share Values
Key to any relationship’s success is shared values. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree on everything. Some important shared values may be the importance of family, honesty, commitment, finances, and respect. A study conducted at Utah State University found that individuals with two commonly shared values had higher marital satisfaction than those without closely shared values. So, if you share values with your partner they may be the one.
2. You Feel Safe and Supported
When you find the one, it feels like home. Usually, you’ll feel like you’ve known this person for much longer than you have. The connection you share emotionally, intellectually, and physically is very strong. Ultimately, you’re very compatible.
When asked on Reddit how people knew they found “the one,” one user wrote, “It was the comfortability with the other person for me. I could do practically anything around him and I wouldn’t care, and neither would he because we’re just that comfortable with each other.”
3. You Can Be Vulnerable with Each Other
Researcher Brene Brown has spent her career exploring vulnerability. In her TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability she says, “Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control. In fact, vulnerability is the core, the heart, and the center of meaningful human experiences. It’s the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I’m willing to show you.” When you can be vulnerable in your relationship and not worry about shame, it’s likely that you’ve found the one.
4. You Work Through Conflict Together
Being able to openly communicate with each other is essential in any relationship. Especially if you’ve found the one, you’ll be able to resolve disagreements together. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever fight. Instead, your commitment to each other will help you work through conflict.
One Reddit user wrote, “There’s never been a time, even through our most vicious fights that I felt like he didn’t love me. We’ve never ever ever had a fight on a vacation which is HUGE.”
5. Being in Each Other’s Company Feels Natural
While you both have your own lives, you love being in your partner’s company. This comfortability is a clear sign that you’ve found the one. This feeling doesn’t fade over time and you don’t get bored of each other. Even if you’re just hanging out and watching TV, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. One person on Reddit described it, “It felt like we had been reunited after a long time apart, even though we had never met before.”
6. You Grow Together
Couples who have a growth mindset about their relationship, are the most successful. Over time, if you’ve found the one you will continue to grow with your partner. This means that you’ll continue to pursue relationship and individual goals over time.
7. You Push Each Other
Part of finding the one is having a partner who pushes you to be your best self and vice versa. This goes hand in hand with the last point. If you’ve found the one, their support for your goals is unwavering. You celebrate each other’s achievements and are each other’s biggest source of support and encouragement. In the end, you make each other better.
8. You can Depend on and Trust Each Other
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. If your relationship isn’t built on trust, then your partner isn’t the one. Think about who you would call in an emergency. If you’ve found the one, then your partner is the first call you would make. This support and trust isn’t one-sided if you’ve found your person.
Knowing When You’ve Found The One
These eight signs can help you determine if you’ve found the one. Once you’ve found your person, then you shouldn’t let them go. No matter what challenges you face, the relationship is worth holding onto. How did you know that you found the one?
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